I had a dream the other night about the 2015 U.S. Open played at Chambers Bay.
Well, it was a dream at first. Then it became a nightmare.
At the end of regulation, there was a four-way tie for first place between John Huh, Kevin Na, Charlie Wi and Seung-Yul Noh. The championship would be decided in an 18-hole playoff on Monday.
The USGA brought all four players into the media room for interviews. The media room was packed.
Moderator: I would like to welcome all four players. It has been a tremendous tournament so far and figures to get even better on Monday. Would each of you like to make an opening statement before we open it up to questions?
Moderator: Never mind. First question, please.
Writer: Have any of you ever been in a four way playoff before?
Wi: Me? No.
Writer: Most tournaments have sudden death playoffs, but the U.S. Open always has an 18-hole playoff. What are your thoughts on that?
Writer: Yes, you.
Huh: Yu isn’t in the playoff.
Writer: No, I meant huh, as in what did you say?
Noh: No, Oh is the former manager of the Tokyo Giants. He was a great baseball player.
Writer: But was he a good golfer?
Wi: He was?
Na: Nah, I don’t think Oh was a good golfer.
Huh: Who is Oh?
Writer: Never mind, let’s move on. Can each of you give me your take on the pot bunker built into the middle of the 18th fairway.
Writer: Yes, you.
Huh: But Yu isn’t in the playoff. He’s a pitcher for the Rangers. Yu Darvish.
Wi: We know that. I like the bunker. It adds a special touch to a special golf course.
Noh: Does this course need another bunker? In a word: NO!
Huh: Could you repeat the question?
Na: Does the bunker bother my game plan? Nah.
Writer: Which hole do you think will decide the Open Championship.
Huh: How many times do I have to tell you that Yu is not in the playoff.
Noh: No, he isn’t.
Wi: But we are.
Writer: Moving right along, good luck to all of you in the playoff. You will need it, I’m sure.
Wi: We will need luck, but Yu isn’t here in case you hadn’t heard.
Na: Nah, he’s on some other tour, I think.
Noh: I don’t need no luck. I am going to win.
Wi: Noh is clueless. I will will my way to the win.
Media: And how would you celebrate the biggest win of your career?
Wi: I would go to Hawaii and play a round of golf with my niece, Michelle Wei.
Na: Can I go?
Noh: Can I go?
Media: Say good night, guys.