Planet Golf — 01 September 2012 by Jim Street
A dream that becomes a nightmare

I had a dream the other night about the 2015 U.S. Open played at Chambers Bay.

Well, it was a dream at first. Then it became a nightmare.

At the end of regulation, there was a four-way tie for first place between John Huh, Kevin Na, Charlie Wi and Seung-Yul Noh. The championship would be decided in an 18-hole playoff on Monday.

The USGA brought all four players into the media room for interviews. The media room was packed.

Moderator: I would like to welcome all four players. It has been a tremendous tournament so far and figures to get even better on Monday. Would each of you like to make an opening statement before we open it up to questions?

Na: Nah.

Noh: No.

Huh: Huh?

Wi: Me?

Moderator: Never mind. First question, please.

Writer: Have any of you ever been in a four way playoff before?

Noh: No.

Na: Nah.

Huh: Huh?

Wi: Me? No.

Writer: Most tournaments have sudden death playoffs, but the U.S. Open always has an 18-hole playoff. What are your thoughts on that?

Wi: Me?

Writer: Yes, you.

Huh
: Yu isn’t in the playoff.

Writer: Huh?

Huh: Yes?

Writer: No, I meant huh, as in what did you say?

Huh: Oh.

Noh: No, Oh is the former manager of the Tokyo Giants. He was a great baseball player.

Writer: But was he a good golfer?

Wi: He was?

Na: Nah, I don’t think Oh was a good golfer.

Huh: Who is Oh?

Writer: Never mind, let’s move on. Can each of you give me your take on the pot bunker built into the middle of the 18th fairway.

Wi: Me?

Writer: Yes, you.

Huh: But Yu isn’t in the playoff. He’s a pitcher for the Rangers. Yu Darvish.

Wi: We know that. I like the bunker. It adds a special touch to a special golf course.

Noh: Does this course need another bunker? In a word: NO!

Huh: Could you repeat the question?

Na: Does the bunker bother my game plan? Nah.

Writer: Which hole do you think will decide the Open Championship.

Huh: How many times do I have to tell you that Yu is not in the playoff.

Noh: No, he isn’t.

Wi: But we are.

Writer: Arghhh!

Huh: Huh?

Writer: Moving right along, good luck to all of you in the playoff. You will need it, I’m sure.

Wi: We will need luck, but Yu isn’t here in case you hadn’t heard.

Na: Nah, he’s on some other tour, I think.

Noh: I don’t need no luck. I am going to win.

Wi: Noh is clueless. I will will my way to the win.

Media: And how would you celebrate the biggest win of your career?

Wi: I would go to Hawaii and play a round of golf with my niece, Michelle Wei.

Na: Can I go?

Wi: Nah.

Noh: Can I go?

Wi:
No!

Huh: Huh?

Media: Say good night, guys.

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Jim Street

Jim’s 40-year sportswriting career started with the San Jose Mercury-News in 1970 and ended on a full-time basis on October 31, 2010 following a 10-year stint with MLB.com. He grew up in Dorris, Calif., several long drives from the nearest golf course. His first tee shot was a week before being inducted into the Army in 1968. Upon his return from Vietnam, where he was a war correspondent for the 9th Infantry Division, Jim took up golf semi-seriously while working for the Mercury-News and covered numerous tournaments, including the U.S. Open in 1982, when Tom Watson made the shot of his life on the 17th hole at Pebble Beach. Jim also covered several Bing Crosby Pro-Am tournaments, the women’s U.S. Open, and other golfing events in the San Francisco area. He has a 17-handicap, never had a hole-in-one, although once he came within two inches of an ace, and witnessed the first round Ken Griffey Jr. ever played – at Arizona State during Spring Training in 1990. Pebble Beach Golf Links, the Kapalua Plantation Course, Pinehurst No. 2, Spyglass Hill, Winged Foot, Torrey Pines, Medinah, Chambers Bay, North Berwick in Scotland, and Princeville are among the courses he has had the pleasure of playing. Hitting the ball down the middle of the fairway is not a strong part of Jim’s game, but he is known (in his own mind) as the best putter not on tour. Most of Jim’s writing career was spent covering Major League baseball, a tenure that started with the Oakland Athletics, who won 101 games in 1971, and ended with the Seattle Mariners, who lost 101 games in 2010. Symmetry is a wonderful thing. He currently lives in Seattle and vacations in Arizona (and other warm climates) as much as possible.

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